WHY DID WE CREAte THIS
The Spiteful Gifts Endeavor Begins
We thought it was important to frame what motivated the Spiteful Family to start Spiteful Gifts and spitefulgifts.com. Yes, we are a bit crazy. And, when we say “crazy,” we mean fun “crazy.” Well, some of us are maybe a bit mental “crazy” too. But just a bit. We certainly see this enterprise as an opportunity to express our craziness.
We also, as you will find, loved the idea of giving back. There are items on this website that can only be purchased after donating to a specific charity. We make no money on the donations; in fact, we pay the transaction fees for your donations so that 100% of what you donate goes directly to the charity. We only make money if and when you buy products.
When we looked up the definition of spite, we found variations on definitions for a noun and a verb that were essentially:
- spite (noun). A desire to annoy, offend, or hurt someone
- spite (verb). Purposefully annoy, offend, or hurt (someone)
Our personal definitions modify these a bit and add an important ingredient.
- spite (noun). A desire to annoy, offend, or poke fun at an annoying person to make you feel better
- spite (verb). Purposefully annoy, offend, or poke fun at an annoying person to make you feel better
We wanted to make sure “hurt” was not in our definitions. We do not condone violence or sending things to someone that will make them sick.
After looking into spite on the infallible, always accurate, research tool, the internet, we were a bit surprised how many studies indicated that spite can be a positive motivator. People lose weight or end bad habits to spite their ex’s. They work very hard to accomplish things to spite co-workers or bosses who said they couldn’t do certain things. The Spiteful Family hopes that all of customers find some positive as a result of their spite.
We are hopeful that our gifts fit into four categories.
- Gifts for those you want to annoy, offend, or poke fun at. Ex-spouses or ex-partners. Soon to be ex-spouses or partners. Ex-friends. Current or ex-co-workers. Ex-bosses (probably better than current bosses). Family members. CEOs of companies that pissed you off. Acquaintances who hurt you. There are lots of people that these gifts can go to. Sure, some of these people that you may want to hurt in big ways, but trust us, delivering a small bit of spite is a whole lot better than delivering big hurt and the subsequent jail time.
- Gifts for those you want to “tweak” a bit. These could be current spouses, partners, friends, co-workers, or family. You are not trying to tell them you’ve moved on from your relationship with them but, they did annoy you and you want to make sure they know it.
- Gifts for you to keep as a reminder. Maybe it’s a reminder of the fact that you had a feral cat named after your ex and then spayed or neutered or a reminder that you are free of that person in your life. And maybe these items are mugs that only you see. Alternatively, the items may be a t-shirt that proudly shares your spiteful message with others you encounter. Don’t worry, there are far worse t-shirt messages out there. Getting back to our definitions above, these gifts to yourself are “to make you feel better.”
- Humorous gifts for friends and loved ones. Sure, they may annoy you on occasion, but this isn’t about that, this is just fun. Ok, this requires a little bit of that fun craziness, which we want the world to have more of. We personally intend to buy all gifts for Spiteful Family members and our friends from spitefulgifts.com. It is not because we want to annoy them, we just want them to get the crazy joy when they receive the gifts. Additionally, we want that fun feeling that we will get by knowing they will experience joy every time they see them, whether they are drinking coffee or wearing annoying shirts. We also get the added benefit that these gifts will cost us less than buying them cars, computers, fine jewelry, boats, or club memberships which will also make our cheap asses feel better.
Of course, we also want you to feel good about donating to our designated worthy causes and helping people, animals, and society.
If you’ve read this far, you are now part of the Spiteful Community. We hope that we have inspired you to come up with ideas and we want your input. If you are the first to suggest an idea that we use, we will send you a gift. Please note that we did say “first” because we anticipate that multiple people will give us the same ideas.
You Deserve Some Spite
The Horse's Ass Boss
This is one article in the “You Deserve Some Spite” series that Spiteful Family members and Spiteful Community members contribute. Spiteful Community members can send us their proposed articles which we may publish if they follow these rules:
- Don’t name yourself or the other people involved.
- No use of celebrity’s names, company names, or product brand names in a bad light.
- Keep curse words to a minimum.
We reserve the right to delay or not accept any proposed article and to edit articles for length, spelling, grammar, style, or clarity.
I had been at my company for about a month and already understood how much my boss relied on me. I was tasked with developing a detailed plan for a takeover of a government contract in three days. I met with leaders from operations, IT, security, contracting, and human resources. Our company had not done a previous takeover so much of what I created, I needed to create from scratch. I worked over 18 hours each day, aided by substantial amounts of caffeine.
The plan that I created had over 700 tasks on a GANTT chart and 35 pages of accompanying text describing the takeover team and its roles, the tasks, the client’s role, the role of the incumbent, the hiring process, the systems takeover, testing, and acceptance procedures. I also put together a PowerPoint to provide an overview for the client.
My boss must have liked what I gave him, because he changed nothing. He presented it to the client, with our company CEO present. When the client mentioned how impressed they were to get such detail so quickly, my boss had the gall to mention how little sleep he had gotten putting it together. Apparently, he had done this same sort of thing to his team many times over.
I called my previous employer the next day and they offered me a raise to come back. I gave 2 days’ notice to my boss.
So, yes, my horse’s ass ex-boss deserved some spite. I was delighted to have the opportunity to donate to a great charity and send him a mug that depicted him oh so well.